Even At My Worst He’s There

One day I walked until I fell
My heart so heavy I couldn’t bear it
Unless I was standing still
I sat wedged between two fallen trees
Out there, feeling of loneliness are allowed to be
So my pent-up confusion flowed down my face
My anxiety dug through the rotting bark
My pain cringed over the calm creek
The feeling I hide from everyone else
Are freely released in my safe forest
Then the feelings passed, leaving me empty again
My phone buzzed unrepentantly
I looked through bleary lenses
I love you
He wrote, just a random reminder
Of why I can’t be the girl who cries alone anymore
Of why I have to be strong and survive
Of why I need to trust and be willing
To share my thoughts with animate objects
One day I wanted to run away from him
And he made it impossible for me to go
Without even knowing what I was thinking