necessities

there's this boy that i love
that i always have
and i'm afraid...i always will
he's the one i always dreamed of having
i needed him to be as close as possible
but he's gone
the boy i loved is gone forever now
and i really miss him
he was fun
and rude
blunt in an innocent way
naughty in a goofy way
always trying to be cool
and when he stopped trying, he WAS
attractive, intense, smoldering me
he was the only guy i wanted
the only one i wanted to be with forever
but i lost him
now he's not even a close friend
not even interested
and i just wish i could've gotten to know him better
because i think
he was fantastic